My Achilles

I've always been fascinated with Greek Mythology and as I've mentioned in my previous posts I have recently been into the poems of Oscar Wilde and Lord Byron, if you have a spare second I recommend looking up some of their works especially Byron's 'The Tear' or Wilde’s ‘Under the Balcony’. I’ve found when reading their material that when talking of heartbreak they tend not to be so discreet about who the poem is about or the details involved, whereas in a song I feel you have to gloss over your message to make it more commercial. So I thought I'd conjure up one titled 'Achilles', this poem does not pay homage to Achilles himself but instead to someone who in their own way reminded me of him.

There is so much mugginess around the story of Patroclus and Achilles, some say that they were friends, some say cousins some even lovers. Of course being gay I've opted for the bromance!! Supposedly Achilles was almost invulnerable and the only way to kill him was his heel, hence the saying "Achilles heel". There was a time within the Trojan War where Achilles refused to fight and it was only when Patroclus was murdered by the opposite party that he took up his sword and shield and rode high and mighty into the battle field which unfortunately led to his death. The film 'Troy' suggests that Patroclus disguised himself as Achilles to protect him, you may notice I have chosen to stick to this version when writing the poem.

Patroclus's death supposedly drove Achilles mad, as did Hephaestions death to Alexander the Great. In the poem itself the narrator is aware of the effect that Patroclus' and Hephaestions' death had upon their 'lovers' so begs his own lover to forget him and not avenge his death as he feels that he is doomed to die like Hephaestion and Patroclus, before his great lover. The narrator is also terrified of his man going down the same path of self destruction that Achilles and Alexander went to, eventually leading to their deaths. The ending of the poem is no less tragic than the Greek tragedies in that either way the narrator is doomed for sadness, he either has to live without his love or has to die and watch his love die too. Unlike the original Achillies the battle is not a blood thirsty war but instead one between family and religion...perhaps the lover (Achilles) knows that if he is to live his life with the narrator he will be abandoned by his family and religion.

Oh my Achilles day and night,

My will to live my constant mind

Let us forever lay apart,

Let our bed lay cold in the dark.

You could keep me safe from harm,

With your bow and steady arms,

But that would make you less a man,

Forget my name and if you can...

Do not let me be your heel,

But let me be your sword and shield,

Let me be your sacrifice

Who gave you up to live your life

Don’t fight for me, don’t fight for me,

Cos you’ll be cut from your family tree.

Our battle is not of sword and spear,

But of birth and blood and holiness.

It’s goodbye to them or goodbye to me,

So keep them safe and let that be.

I refuse to be your burden carried,

Let me be the one to watch you marry,

My Achilles strong and proud,

Golden hair and lips so round

Oh my Achilles or Alexander,

As your name does say you are,

Let the prophecy stay strong,

That I must die and you live on.

Like Patroclus took your ‘name’,

So his love could become so great,

Let this parting we have made,

Keep you sound and bring you fame.

Don’t fight for me, don’t fight for me,

For we both must die if we can be.

You’re my Achilles not by words,

But by look and stature and still I thirst,

For you to live life to the full,

Without the constant ridicule

You’re my Achilles not the man

Who once could kill with his bare hands,

And still you are the highest of highs,

My evening star, my morning light.

So like Patroclus was put to death,

If you need me I’ll be there,

But till that day my solemn prince,

My warrior, I beg you, live.

And don’t avenge my cruelly death,

If you’re Achilles I’m Patroclus,

Don’t fight for me, don’t fight for me,

If you do you will die to.

Don’t fight for me, don’t fight for me,

You’re now a prince soon to be King.

If I were your Patroclus and you my Achilles,

I know for sure you’d fight for me, I know for sure you’d fight for me.

Karl Smitherman © 2012